I have been writing about mental health and self-care for over two years now, and it only just occurred to me that I’ve never talked about sleep. I’ve written countless blogs and articles about self-care as it relates to boundaries, self-expression, conflict resolution, and relationship building, but not once have I spoken about sleep.
Sleep (and lack thereof) impacts more than just our physical energy levels. It also affects our mental clarity, emotional regulation, immune function, and mind-body connection. I’d argue that without these crucial things, successful self-care is almost impossible. One would think that since sleep is so vital to our overall well-being, it would be one of the first things on our list when we establish our self-care routine. Sadly, getting the right amount and quality of sleep seldom makes the list.
We all know it’s recommended to get around eight hours of sleep a day (give or take). And, of course, we all know how much easier that is said than done. Most of us have jobs, children, or other obligations that make snagging a solid eight hours a day nearly impossible. For that reason, we get frustrated and give up on trying to get as much sleep as we need.
Something I’ve begun to learn, however, is that when you are getting the right kind of sleep you can offset whatever length of sleep you may be lacking. So, I’ve spent a lot of time researching and developing my self-care for sleep routine. I’ve got to say: it’s working out pretty well so far! Here are a few of the things I’ve incorporated into my routine. I’m not a professional by any means. In fact, I’m just an overwhelmed Millennial mom who hasn’t gotten enough sleep since skinny jeans were still all the rage (I’m still wearing mine though). Here’s what I’ve done that’s worked so far:
Mindfulness Meditation:
I never considered myself good at meditation, but recently, by sheer desperation, I figured it out. As it turns out, you don’t really have to be good at it. You just have to be patient. Having a good meditation guide can really help at first until you can reach a meditative state on your own. I’ve been amazed by how much better I’ve been sleeping since choosing to take fifteen to twenty minutes before bed to clear my mind in meditation. Sometimes I even fall asleep during the meditation! I like using my Peleton mobile app for these meditations, but I’ve found the Aura app to be a great (and affordable) option as well.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation:
Some people refer to this as a body scan. It’s pretty straightforward and fast: just start from the top of your head and begin relaxing the muscles there, then work all the way down to your toes. You’ll be amazed how many micro-muscles you find all tensed up when you use this method. For me, it’s always my jaw and my shoulders. Relaxing these muscles helps me get into a comfortable state that is much more amenable to sleep.
Inverted Postures and Yoga:
Gentle yoga poses like legs-up-the-wall to calm the nervous system and promote relaxation. Actually, I find that any kind of yoga helps calm me down and prepare my body for bed. I try to stay away from downward facing dog, as it can speed your heart rate up. But any slow yoga, yin yoga, or floor pose yoga helps to relax my body and help me drift gently into sleep.
Brain Dumping:
Some people might call it journaling, but I like to think of it as a massive brain dump. By the end of the day, my head is usually spinning. It can be very difficult to fall asleep when my head is filled with worries, concerns, or even excitement. Sitting down to write (or type) all those thoughts has a meditative quality to it. Something about getting them out of my mind and onto paper (or screen) helps me feel empty, calm, and ready to sleep.
Box Breathing
Box breathing is a technique that helps to regulate the nervous system. I also find that it gives me a very subtle natural high—making me feel tingly and euphoric. It’s easy to do, almost like breathing around a square (or a box). Inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and hold for four seconds, then start the cycle again. When I do 10-15 of these cycles, I instantly feel my body calm down and drowsiness begin to find me.
You don’t need to do each of these things every night. After all, the dangerous thing about creating routines is that sometimes we become enslaved to them, allowing them to become a source of stress rather than a source of self-care. So, just consider these things to be tools in your sleep-self-care tool belt. Apply them as needed.
Amber Wardell is a doctor of psychology and author who speaks on women’s issues related to marriage, motherhood, and mental health. Subscribe to the free newsletter to get exclusive content delivered to your inbox and to never miss an upload.
Pre-order her book Beyond Self-Care Potato Chips: Choosing Nourishing Self-Care in a Quick-Fix Culture, releasing October 29th, 2024.
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