Why Women Say They’d Choose the Bear: A Non-Comprehensive List

A hot debate has emerged on social media as women answer the question, “would you rather be trapped alone in the woods with a man or a bear?”

Women have categorically, almost unanimously united in saying they would choose the bear. And in a not-altogether-surprising development, there are men who are furious about that, and confused as to why women would choose a deadly bear over wittle old them. So, for those men, I’ve compiled a list of reasons. There are more than this, but here are the highlights.

Hope this helps:

The bear won’t tell you to act like you like it.

The bear won’t make you call him Daddy while he does it.

The bear’s friends won’t lie to vouch for him if you survive and tell somebody what he did to you.

People won’t ask what you were doing or wearing that caused the bear to attack you.

The bear might run away if you scream really loud.

The bear won’t film himself doing what he’s doing and upload it to the internet for people to pay to see it.

No one will ask you if it’s possible that maybe you actually wanted it.

You wouldn’t have to listen to a news story after your attack about how decent the bear really is and how it has such a bright and promising future ahead.

People might actually have sympathy for you.

The bear won’t tell you he’ll harm your loved ones if you tell anyone what he did to you.

The bear won’t work for months and months to get close to you, gain your trust, and convince you he’s one of the good ones, only to attack you the moment he gets you alone.

You won’t have to face the bear in court and describe what he did to you to complete strangers.

People will probably believe you.

People won’t point out how many other bears you’ve been around willingly when you say this one was a bear you would rather not be around.

There is no chance of having to co-parent with the bear after it attacks you.

When you develop PTSD and an intense fear of bears after the attack, people won’t tell you that it’s not all bears.

And as so many of us women were raised to believe, there are some fates worse than death. The bear will deliver death. A man can deliver so much worse.

Indeed.

Not all bears. And not all men. But how do we know which ones?


Amber Wardell is a doctor of psychology and author who speaks on women’s issues related to marriage, motherhood, and mental health. Subscribe to the free newsletter to get exclusive content delivered to your inbox and to never miss an upload.

Check out her blog called Compassionate Feminism on Psychology Today to join a feminist conversation centered in openness, empathy, and equity.

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